Gold Class.

Movie in VIP style.
A complimentary luxury.

Christina Siew is the author of the book, ‘Love, Pinkie >.<’ (www.lovepinkie.com)

Our deepest fear x. x

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson

Divine Relationships ♥

We may have the choice to choose which relationship we want to invest in….

to build relationships with the people we feel beneficial to us (task oriented); or
hang out with people we feel comfortable with (people oriented).

But ultimately God knows best.

If we only learn how to let go, and let Him. In His sovereign will, He will bring us to the right people, and connect us with them. And these relationships will work out beautifully for the God-given purposes/dreams/visions in our lives.

We just need to know how to love.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

Prayer of Trust. I’m not alone.

At a very difficult and dark period in Thomas Merton’s life, he penned this prayer.
How this prayer speaks to my heart.

O Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going,
I do not see the road ahead of me,
I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself,
And that fact that I think
I am following Your will
Does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe
That the desire to please You
Does in fact please You.
And I hope I have that desire
In all that I am doing.

I hope that I will never do anything
Apart from that desire to please You.
And I know that if I do this
You will lead me by the right road,
Though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore I will trust You always
Though I may seem to be lost
And in the shadow of death.
I will not fear,
For You are ever with me,
And You will never leave me
To make my journey alone.

Source: Thomas Merton, Pax Christi, Benet Press, Erie, PA.

the love goes on..! ♥

HAPPY V-DAY ♥

first time cooking together.

HAPPY ‘B’-DAY ♥

when every day is a valentine’s day. =P

God’s bank transfer

When God asks you to give money to bless a certain person, mission, cause, church or organization, do you struggle with it?

Then, when you do feel led to give, what’s the amount? If the amount doesn’t pain you, then you probably have to up the “stakes”.

But come to think of it, it’s technically God’s money… and He’s just doing a “bank transfer” from one account to another. And we are banks in that sense. We individuals are God’s personal accounts, and probably a mission, church, etc..are God’s corporate accounts. Ok…you get the drift.

Imagine yourself doing a bank transfer. You transfer money from one bank account to another without feeling any pain, because whichever bank the money is, it’s still your money. But the bank which you transfer the money out from will feel the “pain”, because they are losing business/money reserves to another bank.

And so you see why we are banks. We feel the pinch because our $ reserves are getting lower but we have no right to be angry. We are mere stewards of the money. Money deposited in us is only for a certain season.

Oh but we are a little different from the banks. We can use the money when its in our accounts. This money is a gift from God, it’s His grace to us. But of course, we have to use it wisely.

Acts 20:35b “…remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

1 Peter 4:10 “As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.”

Psalm 131

My heart is not proud, Lord,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.

But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.

Israel, put your hope in the Lord
both now and forevermore.

(Psalm 131:1-3 NIV)

Grace of God

I feel so unloving at times, or probably most of the time these days.

Am I not walking right with You, God?
Because if I am, I should be more Christ-like, I should be more fruitful in the Spirit and thus more loving.

 ”But the fruit of the Spirit is LOVE, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” Gal 5:22

Am I not walking close to You, God?
Because if I am, I will be so filled with Your love that love will overflow from my life and into others’.

I can try to fake it. But I will be a liar and a hypocrite.
I can love and do good for the praises of men and earn merit points from You, God. But in the end, it’s for such a self-centered reason.

So how?

Then……..the lightbulb moment came.
It’s all about God’s grace. It’s God’s grace that He blesses someone with a loving heart for the children, youth, elderly, poor, widows, orphan, prostitutes, foreigners or the mentally/physically disabled.

Thus, no one should so much as boast in this so-called natural goodness/kindness/love they have in them. What seems so natural in them is really a gift from God by His grace. Different people have different burden for different groups of people. Some people just have more grace to have the capacity to love and feel for more groups.

And soon enough God gave me supplementary reading from C.S. Lewis saying in Mere Christianity, “It is when (a person) realises that his niceness is not his own but a gift from God, and when he offers it back to God — it is just then that it begins to be really his own.”

But perhaps, it’s just a matter of seasons. This is just not my season to be loving. It’s a season for me to restore and heal with His love. Or is this just an excuse? Either way, I will keep praying for more of His grace for me to love others.

Dreams & Reality

Vincent van Gogh – Starry Night over the Rhone

This is my favorite piece!
He’s not famous for no reason.
Captivating scene~ especially the starry, starry night.

Christina Siew is the author of the book, ‘Love, Pinkie >.<’ (www.lovepinkie.com)

Nothing to lose

Following Nothing to prove post, here’s nothing to lose. 

In a society that talks about money, financial security is high on the list. It doesn’t help that I was trained as an accountant. I’m good at counting the cost — opportunity cost of leaving a stable and reasonably well-paid job to be where God wants me to be.

Struggles, worries, doubts have been eating me up. But I have and am still learning hard to change my perspective.. i.e. not letting money to be the idol / master in my life. Some thoughts..

I’m just God’s steward over the things  ($ & assets) I have here. So technically, what’s mine actually belongs to God. So…what’s there to lose when nothing here on earth is mine in the first place.

Then again, I am a child of God and hence I should have everything God has — the inheritance. True….but God also has the authority to determine how much He will give and let me steward. As in ancient kingdoms, kings bestowed gifts to his servants.. Its the king’s grace. He can choose not to give us, but if he did, it’s his grace. As a king, there’s no doubt he can take the gift back easily. And it’ll be perfectly fine if no explanation is given.

Similarly, everything I have is because of God’s grace.. Undeserved from Him.

“The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.” – Ps 23:1

I shall not be in want because I lack nothing. I lack nothing because I have sufficient. I have sufficient because God knows how much I need and gives accordingly. He knows how much to give me or take away from me.

He’s my shepherd. He knows.

………..

Nothing to prove

I deal with a lot of insecurities as a twenty-something-sensitive-female. A perfect combo for frequent attacks of insecurities, I guess. This season has been trying for me. It’s only tonight that I realized the theme of what God is teaching me…

Nothing to prove + Nothing to lose.

If I am secure in who I am, there’s nothing much to prove. I won’t try to behave in such a way to prove that I’m smarter, funnier, louder, better, etc than the rest. I will be comfortable with myself. I will not seek to earn human’s approval.

Recently, I find myself getting more self-conscious and thus judging my every move and word. Ah..perhaps the more I judge people, the more I will judge myself. Shucks..I thought I’ve turned for the better, i.e. being less judgmental? But perhaps, the survival instinct in me arose once again as I was repeatedly thrown into unfamiliar groups of not-so-like-minded-people (environments).

With my sensitive antenna to sense the vibes from different people, I subconsciously tried to act and speak in a way to prove myself, that is not me. Slowly, I acted in ways not myself..and hence made myself the awkward kid around.

Argh..I need to learn to be comfortable in my skin. But to embrace myself for who I am is a hard thing to do.

Ah..somehow this ‘confession’ is like opening a can of worms. No stopping to it…

I need to fight these thoughts of insecurities. I need to stop listening to lies about myself. I need to love myself. For all these, I need the grace of God.

+ God gave me talents and gifts. || Lord, help me to discover and be a good steward of them.

+ God made me and gave me a destiny according to His wonderful plan. || Lord, not my will, but Your will be done.

(to be continued..)

the new style of preaching || Spoken Word

Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus

Love

Odd Thomas – The Incarnation (Christmas Story)

Spiritual hunger; the way we eat (vol.2)

Following the previous post, you decided to start feasting on spiritual food to increase your appetite for God. But how are you doing so?

Eating on the go is so different from…
..sitting down and enjoying the food.

Spending time with the lover while doing other things is so different from..
..spending time solely dedicated for the lover while fixing our gaze on him/Him.

Even Jesus wants to spend an intimate time with God every day. Jesus having such a close relationship with God, continues to hunger for God.

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” — Mark 1:35

Christina Siew is the author of the book, ‘Love, Pinkie >.<’ (www.lovepinkie.com)

Spiritual Hunger (vol.1)

Can SPIRITUAL hunger be taught? Can NATURAL hunger be taught?

However, the spiritual is not first, but the natural, and afterward the spiritual. — 1Cor15:46

Think natural, then spiritual. The understanding will be easier.

As with the natural, I don’t think spiritual hunger can be “manufactured” in us by another man..unless we have that natural desire or hunger for this hunger. People can’t teach us to be hungry..but they can remind us to eat. They can ask us to eat even when we don’t feel like eating, or perhaps, force us to eat.

The more we eat, the more our stomach expands. This means an increased appetite to make us crave for more food. Similarly, the more we feed ourselves with spiritual food (bread of God) , the more we hunger for God and our appetite for Him increase.

Even though that natural hunger is a grace from God, we need to continually feed ourselves to expand our spiritual stomach. Perhaps, some people can really teach us how to make ourselves hungry, but that hunger will soon be gone if we don’t feed ourselves.

*Beware of busyness and junk food!

We are so busy that we become so tired. We don’t even have the energy to eat. We decided to skip meals. We decided not to schedule meal times. And then like a cycle, we become increasingly malnourished and in turn get more tired easily.

We replace spiritual food with junk food. We start feeding on junk food like facebook, video games, drama serials, etc. With most of our time spent on junk food, we don’t have much time left to feed on the spiritual food. The more defining reason is that we are simply not that spiritually hungry after all those snacking. Snacking is okay, but if it replaces the main meal….uh-oh?

Even if you don’t feel hungry today, the step to have a few nibbles is good to kick-start your spiritual appetite!  =) +

Christina Siew is the author of ‘Love, Pinkie >.<’ (www.lovepinkie.com)

www.christinasiew.com

If you still do not know, I’m the author of a published book, ‘Love, Pinkie >.<’. =P And all authors, or rather, most authors have a website dedicated to themselves, using their names as the domain name. A space to promote themselves and their books. But I’m not a sanguine/extrovert by nature, and thus I’ve been focusing the spotlight on my book instead of myself…(so a www.lovepinkie.com instead). >.<

After a long procrastination, I decided to do what an author should do, emerge from the hermit crab shell to blow the trumpets and hit those drums to draw attention at www.christinasiew.com.

Some of my recent blog writings have been rather spiritual, an evolution from the past where I wrote about the day2day details of my mundane life.
Evolution: Outside > In.

In any case, I hope to bless and inspire those who read this blog of feelings, thoughts, observations and experiences. Yet, I don’t know how this blog will turn out in the end — personal, spiritual, thoughtful or something else. Well, that’s the beauty of life ain’t it? Sweet surprises to take your breathe away. I hope this humble little blog does that to you too. =)

Love,
Christina

WordPress will continue to run as a mirror site of the blog @ christinasiew.com

breaking thru’ into 2012 +

It’s the time of the year again. Time to reflect, give thanks, make resolutions and move into the new year with hope, courage and strength. If I look back 2011 without a heart of thanksgiving, it’s so easy for the result-oriented me to get grumpy and complain to and of God. An ungrateful soul, indeed.

But I did feel like I was in a pressure cooker in 2011.

Rephrased part of Danny Silk’s sermon, Master of Breakthrough, preached at Bethel Church:

For the water to break through a water balloon, a dam, or whatever it is, there has to be pressure behind it first. Pressure mounts on one side to break through. Then…

water GUSHES out.

We prayed hard for breakthroughs. And when we finally break through, we go ‘uh-oh’. It’s a whole new world. For e.g., a handicap who finally got his prayer answered and healing from God. He is now able to stand. But he is now thrust into a  new set of challenges of a walking adult.

That’s why we are preparing under the pressure now to have the capacity to survive on the other side of the break through.

But as Danny Silk said, sometimes it’s the pressure that leads you to a breakthrough. And perhaps, the more I pray for a breakthrough, the more pressure I will go under, because greater pressure means the faster I will get pushed into a breakthrough.

Nevertheless, there were many moments in 2011 that made my heart grew cold. I wanted to give up on whatever I am doing & give up on God. But His grace of encouragement pushes me through. A small step forward at a time. Looking back at the year, these small moments of discouragement seemed so fleeting and insignificant. How more will they be in the timeline of eternity.

So now I come prostrate before God, lifting my hands to praise and thank God for the many wonderful things that happened in 2011, albeit a crazy ride of emotional rollercoaster. So the list goes: Thank God for…

The special person He brought into my life. My family and friends by my side. The sale of “Love, Pinkie >.<” merchandises, book and its distribution to major bookstores. The connections I made and accommodation provided during my trip to HongKong. The precious but hard experiential lessons of patience, humility, finances and focusing on Him instead of circumstances. The hours I could spend with God, my growing understanding of and relationship with Him. Etc…

Like the ‘Footprints’ story, I look back at 2011 and see how God has been with me all along. That He was by my side all the while, gently guiding my path even if I failed to see it sometimes.

 2011: “I am with you”, says the Lord. (Hag 1:13 part)

Now as I look and move forward, 2012 will be a greater year!
A year of greater reliance on God and riding on His glory.

Don’t we all have THAT sin?

Don’t we all have THAT sin? That sin which makes us feel like hypocrite Christians? That sin kept in the secret closet, or that sin everybody knows about. The first time was filled with remorse. Subsequently, the conscience in us became immune to our sinful acts. First kill is hard, but it gets easier. Likewise, we keep turning back to our old ways and sin. What?!?

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” 1 Cor 10:13

God knows my threshold, but why did He allow this sin to tempt me? I can’t bear with this sin. I have sinned again and again. I’m not worthy of His calling. I’m not worthy to stand before His throne at the end of time. I’ve disappointed God. The snap of the heart made me condemn myself. In the face of sin, I feel naked and thus shameful of myself. It’s so easy for me to run away and hide from God… like Adam and Eve.

“..they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.. and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden.” Genesis 3:7-8 (part)

But isn’t running away from God supposedly the last thing, or the thing we should never do? He knew it even before we started sinning. So what’s the point to hide? And shouldn’t we be going to God, the only help to our situation?

But ….

Why do I still feel so defeated? I’m relying only on my feeble human strength to be good.
Where is the way out He promised us? Jesus.
Where is the victory from sin? Jesus’ resurrection.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:23-24

Ah.. isn’t  this what I learned when I became a new believer? Because of God’s holiness, every sin, no matter how small it may seem in our eyes, is filthy to Him. Thus, nobody can stand blameless before God on judgement day. But those who call upon the name of Jesus are now made pure by Jesus’ death and resurrection, including me! =)

Of course, that doesn’t give me the free rein to sin like nobody’s business. Sin will do nobody good but harm to myself.

It’s a warfare. I confess and repent. But it’s not a zap, I wouldn’t be tempted by that sin again. It’s a process. Yes, I might fall again, but with my deliberate intention to turn away, the times I sin will become fewer. And hopefully, that sin will be purged out from my system soon enough, for good.

Ah…God’s grace and my feeble human will.

The more I know of God’s holiness, the more I detest the sins in my life. At least this helps me to stop indulging in ways displeasing God.

All of us sin, but what do you do next?

“And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” ” John 8:11b

Christmas – - a ray of hope in darkness

Christmas, supposedly a day of happiness. Smile, laugh and be merry, they say. For it’s a day to remember and celebrate Jesus coming down to earth. But even with wide smiles and merry jingles during Christmas service, I find myself not feeling happy at all.

What’s there to be?
In that moment: A bad morning. In this season: A dark tunnel.

I tried to change my perspective, I tried. But my emotions were overpowering. The weight that hung on my heart was not easily lifted up, at least not by my own strength. God knew my downcast heart and in the middle of the worship session, He gave me a wonderful perspective.

Jesus came as a light, piercing through the darkness.
Jesus came as a hope to this broken world.

Without knowing that I’m in the dark, I would never how much I needed the light.
Without traveling in the dark, I would never have that desperate need for hope.

My journey made me realized how lost and messed up I would be without Jesus and how precious is that hope I find in Jesus.

No euphoria. No jumping on my feet.
Just a quiet sense of joy and thankfulness.

Thank You, God. Thank You, Jesus.

Praying for one another & the nation

There’s no musician again. This is the second time ever, and twice I was there. >.< However, I felt the atmosphere was different from the last meeting when we had no musician. Instead of music tunes bubbling from within the heart or the group to sing aCapella worship songs, it was a sense of quietness. Being still in the presence of the Lord and just pray.

*Is God teaching us to pray without being led by music & thus emotions, but to hear His voice in the quietness?

Anyhow, I felt the theme of our prayers was — God’s glory and grace; until halfway through, Robin decided to pray and prophesied over each one of us. A few of us in turn got the honor to pray for him as well.

What’s new for me is that, as Robin prayed for the individuals, I got a word/picture for them. I “saw” flowers, leopard, deep tree roots, etc.. Not literally, but something I felt in my heart. *An experential lesson from God, perhaps. Why? It’s because recently I am more exposed to people of the prophetic nature and sometimes do wonder, what it is like to “see” the things they pray about. Do they really see pictures in front of them? If not, how could they describe the pictures/visions with such vivid details.

As I “saw” those images, I didn’t immediately intercept him for fear of disrupting his prayer flow. Well, it’s not like I get visions for others. During the debrief, I had to trust what I felt/saw was from God and thus speak in faith over them. Amazingly, I can remember the word/picture for everyone, given my poor memory. Ultimately, whether what I said spoke to them or not, whether it’s true for them or not, the other party has to pray over it and test it out. At the end of the day, there’s a need for a dose of faith and discernment

There were many other interesting things shared during the debrief.

Robin was sharing how when we were praying over Singapore, he saw two bowls. The first bowl was filled with God’s glory and cloud. It represented the revival that God is going to pour out according to the intercession of the saints. The other bowl was found to be empty. It represented the segments in the Body of Christ that have been found wanting in prayer and watching before the Lord. Indeed the Lord is calling us to watch and pray.

Then, one person shared that he had a vision of MRT stations in the city being flooded. And another jumped in to share that he and his friends noticed huge and thick flood doors at CityLink, near the Esplanade entrance, to prevent flooding. The government has anticipated what’s to come. But because of the doors’ size and weight, they will need some time before they are fully closed to keep out the waters. I have heard about so many people speaking about the great revival that is to come again to Singapore, that kind of made me forget that God can still judge Singapore.

Their conclusion: Intercede for Singapore.

♥ Christina Siew

My original post is at thehouseprays.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/praying-for-one-another-the-nation/

rejected and alone. +

After a conversation I had on Friday, I reflected and asked myself this question,
“If we are all made in God’s image, why are some more well liked than others?”

Today during the church’s worship today, the answer came to me.

Jesus was rejected too..by the people He made in His image.

Before I typed this post, part of the song lyrics of “Above All” came to mind: rejected and alone.
So I went to google and found a video of the song sang by a little girl! what a child-like faith. =)

*Crucified.. laid behind the stone
You lived to die.. rejected and alone
Like a Rose.. trampled on the ground
You took the fall.. and thought of me
Above all*

I read the following excerpt from Tim Keller’s book “The Reason For God” and was deeply impacted. It highlighted the great work Jesus done on the cross..and how lightly I have viewed it in the past. Jesus had to undergo such unfathomably painful separation from God..the one Jesus enjoys a relationship with, even before the beginning of man.

“There may be no greater inner agony than the loss of a relationship that we desperately want. If a mild acquaintance turns on you, condemns and criticizes you, and says she never wants to see you again, it is painful. If someone you’re dating does the same thing, it is qualitatively more painful…

We cannot fathom, however, what it would be like to lose not just spousal love or parental love that has lasted several years, but the infinite love of the Father that Jesus had from all eternity. Jesus’s sufferings would have been eternally unbearable. Christian theology has always recognized that Jesus bore, as the substitute in our place, the endless exclusion from God that the human race has merited.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, even the beginning and foretaste of this experience began to put Jesus into a state of shock.  New Testament scholar, Bill Lane writes: “Jesus came to be with the Father for an interlude before his betrayal, but found hell rather than heaven opened before him and he staggered.”  On the cross, Jesus’ cry of dereliction – “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” – is a deeply relational statement.  Lane writes: “The cry has a ruthless authenticity…Jesus did not die renouncing God.  Even in the inferno of abandonment he did not surrender his faith in God but expressed his anguished prayer in a cry of affirmation. “My God, my God.’” Jesus  still uses the language of intimacy – “my God” – even as he experiences infinite separation from the Father.”

“From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli,lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).” — Matthew 27:45–46

I’m reading Timothy Keller’s book – ‘The Reason For God’. A really good book! A book highly recommended for skeptics and serious spiritual seekers. But you really must be a thinker to read this. Sometimes I need to re-read certain paragraphs to fully absorb them. x_x

An excerpt from his book:

“Every human community holds in common some beliefs that necessarily create boundaries, including some people and excluding others from its circle.

Consider an illustration.  Imagine that one of the board members of the local Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Community Center announces, ‘I’ve had a religious experience and now I believe homosexuality is a sin.’  As the weeks go by, he persists in making that assertion. Next, imagine that a board member of the Alliance Against Same-Sex Marriage announces, ‘I discovered that my son is gay and I think he has the right to marry his partner.’

No matter how personally gracious and flexible the members of each group are, the day will come when each group will have to say, ‘You must step off the board because you don’t share a common commitment with us.’ The first of these communities has the reputation for being inclusive and the second for being exclusive, but, in practice, both of them operate in almost the very same way.  Each is based on common beliefs that act as boundaries, including some and excluding others.  Neither community is being ‘narrow’ – they are just being communities.“

Pray // 2

[ a real late post..about a prayer meeting in October ]

There’s a time to pray in the secret place..spending some intimate time with God.
There’s also a time to pray in a corporate setting..witnessing how God works.

Last Tuesday, Robin said, “No matter what, the prayer meeting has to go on. Even if there is no musician.”
Come this Tuesday, Robin prayed before the meeting for an increase in the number of musicians.
Well, God stunned us. There was not one musician available!
It turned out to be a better plan.
It became a meeting where we sang acapella. Worshiping God with our voices, the instrument He gave us.

~ Then came wonderful lessons from God.~

I was prompted by God to pray for Girl-A. But I was reluctant..since this is a corporate prayer, it seemed weird to pray a personal prayer at this point. Then, the tune of the song Amazing Grace came to my heart. I thought to myself, “Ok, if someone sings Amazing Grace, I will take it as a cue from God to pray for Girl-A.”

No one. My tone deaf talent is not helping as well. It created a barrier for me to begin singing this song in my heart. But the nudge to pray for her came so strong that in the end…I prayed for Girl-A. And after I finished praying, Girl-B sang the song Amazing Grace!

o.O Woah!

In the later part of the prayer session, Robin also sang Amazing Grace, but another stanza.

o.O Woah!

I shared how it was so amazing that Girl-B sang straight after my prayer. And Girl-B and Robin both shared that they have the tune in their hearts, but for various reasons – one of which being cos singing this song felt so cliche, they didn’t. Hence, Girl-B needed a cue: the words – amazing grace. When she heard these words in my prayer, she sang. Robin hearing the singing from Girl-B, got another push to sing. And from which, he shared something that spoke to Girl-A.

2 lessons.

1. God might ask us to do something for someone that might not directly bless him/her. But because of our obedience, a chain reaction might happen to bless that someone. (my prayer didn’t exactly speak to Girl-A, but because of what I did, she got blessed through another person.)

2. We have lots of fears in us. We are restricted by our self-consciousness and what people think of us. (our own doubts stopped us from singing Amazing Grace..the song God placed in our hearts)

Pray it up! *

Carry a stone for Me.

“One day Jesus said to his disciples: “I’d like you to carry a stone for Me.”

He didn’t give any explanation. So the disciples looked around for a stone to carry, and Peter, being the practical sort, sought out the smallest stone he could possibly find. After all, Jesus dind’t give any regulations for weight and size! So he put it in his pocket. Jesus then said: “Follow Me.” He led them on a journey. About noontime Jesus had everyone sit down. He waved his hands and all the stones turned to bread. He said: “Now it’s time for lunch.” In a few seconds, Peter’s lunch was over.

When lunch was done Jesus told them to stand up. He said again: “I’d like you to carry a stone for Me.”

This time Peter said: “Aha! Now I get it!” So he looked around and saw a small boulder. He hosted it on his back, and it was painful, it made him stagger. But he said: “I can’t wait for supper!” Jesus then said: “Follow me!” He led them on a journey, with Peter barely being able to keep up. Around supper time Jesus led them to the side of a river. He said: “Now everyone throw your stones into the water.” They did. Then he said: “Follow me,” and began to walk. Peter and the others looked at him dumbfounded. Jesus sighed and said: “Don’t you remember what I asked you do to? Who were you carrying the stone for?”"

(Elisabeth Elliot, These Strange Ashes, Harper and Row, 1975, p. 132.)

Nothing is something

Someone who did not know me prayed that my spring is here.. after a long, long winter. She knew about the winter in my life! Then, what she prayed about me should be true. I waited with anticipation. Waited for the first touch of warmth. First bloom of the field.

I waited..and waited.

Yet..the sky grew darker and darker. Then as if a hurricane had swept past, places were being emptied and everything became so chaotic. Lifeless city. Dead town.

What?! God…this wasn’t the spring I was expecting, even though I must thank God that I found my love in the midst of the storm, a companion to walk alongside with me. =) God knew I needed a sweetener to make this journey more bearable. Lol.

I was brought to the ends of myself. I tried everything but nothing worked — no doors opened, no favors granted. Thus the following verse became THE verse for my season now. The verse to hang on to and live by.

^“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” — 2 Cor 12:9

Then, I came across an article which cast light on my situation. God had to empty and break me to bring me to a point of nothingness. Here’s an excerpt from the article,

God has no difficulty at all creating something out of nothing. The only obstacle He faces is when the nothing doesn’t know it is nothing but instead thinks it’s something. At that point, God has to break it back down to nothing before it is good for anything.

“If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself” (Gal. 6:3)

…if we think we are something so that we look down on others or are wise in our own eyes, we deceive ourselves! If we categorically know we are nothing without God, and we simultaneously recognize whatever grace He has worked in us is so we can bless others, then there is no limit to how much God can use us.

(this paragraph spoke a lot to me!) You see, God is not offended by chaos. There will be times when, like the precreation universe, you discover your life seems “formless and void.” Do not be overly concerned. When you discover there is chaos in the deepest part of you, do not fret. You are at a new beginning. It has taken the Lord quite a long time to help you to recognize your nothingness.

“He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30)

God gives life to the dead. Do you sometimes feel dead? Good. You’re qualified to get God’s life! Look to God. Trust Him as your Creator. Do not fear when you discover you are nothing. There is a time when becoming nothing is an improvement.

Next wave..New wineskin.

11.11.11

A special date.

World’s ending? God’s glory descending? Major shaking in the spiritual, emotional, physical and financial realms?

Whatever it is, I wanted to join a prayer group to pray on 11.11.11 in Hong Kong. But alas, to no avail. I don’t even know why I am going to HK in the first place. Why God? I began to be frustrated….frustrated at doors being closed one after another. Frustrated at not knowing where I can sleep and pray. Lord..is it You or my own desires leading me to HK ?

Then I stumbled upon an article. There came a small ‘ah-ha’, peace, or ‘Oh…’ moment.

Outside of church.

Perhaps I was just praying according to my plan while God has other plans and thus not answering my prayers. His thoughts and ways are greater than mine… all the time.

Here’s a few paragraphs from the article,

One of the biggest dangers Christians face is thinking inside the proverbial religious box. When we talk about “a great move of God” or “revival” we often contextualize it inside a church building. We get visions of people coming to a facility, worshipping God, hearing a fiery evangelist and flooding the altar for prayer.

Even when we take it “to the streets” it still looks a lot like it does inside the church walls. We speak to people using the same language and pray for them just like we do in church, except that the setting has changed.

We preach with Bibles in our hands or set up stages and play the same music we sing on Sundays. We bring church outside the walls of the auditorium but continue ministering in the same old wineskin we’ve used for decades.

If people are not interested in experiencing it inside the church, then why do we think they want to experience it outside the church? Trying to invoke a move of God this way does not recognize ways that God is already moving in people’s lives apart from the traditional activities of the church.

This is why it is my belief that we cannot define the next move of God by the last move of God. It is not wise for us, as Christians, to try to recreate past revivals and moves of God. We must have an open mind and look outside our religious box to see where God is going.

I have to admit—most of the time I’m looking outside the walls of the church these days to find the move of God.